Hormones are assholes

So, I'm finally coming out of a cloud.  For the last few weeks I've been feeling really weird and crappy.  Tired, short-fused, anxious, sad, absent-minded.  I was forgetting everything, I actually totally missed a doctor appointment for Penny (no, I'm not pregnant).  And I was more scared than usual that Penny was going to get a catastrophic injury doing her normal stuff. I made her leave the playground after 10 minutes because I couldn't deal with watching her climb the ladder. 

Two weeks ago, in the middle of FAO Schwartz, with two gleeful and cooperative girls and no tantrums in sight, after a full night of sleep, all I wanted was to lay down on the floor and go to sleep.

I went to the gym to try to clear my head, and while I was running I had an epiphany:  I just stopped nursing Mabel 3 weeks ago.

So I came home and googled weaning and depression.  And I found this  and this and this.  And a bunch of other stuff that all said the same thing.  Weaning can cause hormone-induced depression.  It's a withdrawal from ocytocin and prolactin. Nobody told me about this.  And it didn't happen with Penny.  But all of a sudden, my hormones are definitely being super bitchy.

I just wanted to put this out there because I had no idea this was even a thing.  But it's a huge relief to know I wasn't going crazy and it's just those dickhead hormones.  Also, after 3 weeks, I'm finally feeling better and things feel so much less desperate and surreal.  So just a heads up, mama.  If you weren't already being attacked by strangers and overly-interested friends and family members and parenting books for weaning your kid, you might also be attacked by your own endocrine system.  But you're still a good mom.  And it gets better.