But according to a mythical legend that persists in the world of internet parenting, there are a number of parents out there - parents who are better at parenting than everybody else - who not only think about art while they are packing their child's lunchbox, but they carefully (SO CAREFULLY) make art out of their child's lunch.
Don't even go look at Pinterest, you'll want to kill yourself. I've collected some examples here.
"Oh look, I've just whipped these up for you, while you're crying because you refuse to wear pants to school and your sister just peed on the floor. This is a normal thing for me to do, because my parenting style is so whimsical and loving and free-spirited and joyful that I just can't help but express my love for you with carefully sculpted fruits, vegetables, rice, and bread. It means that I love you more than anybody else loves their children"
Every time I come across pictures like these, they are embedded in actual articles that somebody wrote, with titles like:
“'Lunchbox Dad'” Creates Impressive Edible Art For His Little Daughter"
or
"Massachusetts Dad Has Been Drawing Awesome Pictures On His Kids' Sandwich Bags Since 2008"
or
"Creative Mom of Two Packs Up Magical Bento Box Lunches For Her Boys"
or
"These Super-Cool Dads Turn School Lunch Into Works of Art"
or
"Mom Creates Amazing Lunch Art For Her Kids"
or
"'Lunchbox Dad' Turns Plain Sandwiches And Snacks Into Edible Masterpieces."
I'm not linking to these articles because they are awful.
First, they tell you that if you do these things "for your kids," then you are "impressive," "awesome," "creative," "super-cool," "amazing,"and "magical."
They do not admit - ever - that these things were clearly not made for actual children's lunches. And if they were, they were made many hours/days ago and are probably now stale and soggy to eat, and also they were made because the person who made them is a self-promoting artist, just trying to get some internet attention, and the blogger is a self-promoting blogger, looking for clicks, and NONE OF THIS IS REAL.
But you are a failure. Because you did not turn your daughter's sandwich into Pinkie Pie (wtf kind of sandwich is that anyway?), and you also did not fill up an entire compartment of a tupperware bento box with frosting and m&m's. Also, you tell me how to get a lid on that cat lunch. You tell me.
These articles keep popping up, and I hate them. They are the perfect embodiment of the internet parenting industry making parents feel inadequate because they can't do impossible things.
So please just remember. The whimsical lunches are not real. Professional artists (or overly-guilted parents who are going insane) made them. You are not expected to make them. Just throw whatever you have into the lunchbox. Your kid probably won't eat anything you make anyway, no matter how whimsical it is.
