State or Trait?

Letter to the Mother Judger:

Here's a nice, easy way to tamp down that mommy judgement.  When you feel it coming, when you see that mom that just makes you shake your head, roll your eyes, and stew in your superiority, first pause.

Then consider the difference between state and trait.  Psychologists use this distinction to differentiate between a temporary condition (state), and a permanent condition (trait).

So, a lady is yelling at her 5 year old in the subway station.

Is your first assessment of this woman that she is a bad mom (trait) or that she is a nice woman having a really bad day (state)?  In the first case, you get to feel superior.  In the second case, you get to feel sympathy, and maybe even offer her some.

Try to limit your evaluations to a person's states, not their traits.