Two kids at once

Letter from a New Mom:
We had a required discharge class at the hospital tonight (for everyone who is leaving the next day) and it made me nervous to think about all of the stuff that I don't know - like what to do if the babies get sick, what in the world I will do if both are upset at the same time, etc. BUT I am trying to remind myself to not think too far in advance and just take one step at a time.

Letter to a New Mom:
You're absolutely right that you have to take it one step at a time.  You're a smart, compassionate, caring person.  You will figure out what to do with things as they come up.  

Kids get sick?  Call the pediatrician.  That's what they're there for.  You're not expected to be a doctor on top of being a mom.  


Both are upset at the same time?  I know it's not the same as having twins, but I worried about this when Mabel was first born too.  The answer is you decide which one needs you more and you let the other one cry, after a pat on the head, a quick kiss, maybe put her in a swing, and a "your sister needs me right now, I'll be back to help you in a few minutes."  Even with newborns, I always felt like it helped somehow (maybe it only helped me) to talk to them and tell them what was going on.  Somebody will still be crying, but at least you communicated to her in some way that she's not alone or forgotten.  

And, actually, those are the times when your kids learn to start soothing themselves.  We picked up Penny every time she made a peep, and she never really learned how to calm herself down.  With Mabel, as difficult and unpleasant as it was, sometimes I had to just let her cry because I was busy with Penny, and eventually she got much better at calming herself down. She still lets me know if something is really wrong, but she doesn't cry anymore for the little things.  So don't think of it as failing if one kid is crying while you tend to the other one.  Think of it as teaching.  

Don't allow yourself to go into that place of self-judgement and vicious mom guilt that says you're somehow ruining your kid because you're not capable of being in two places at once.  That's really damaging and unnecessary.  You are going to do your best, and that really will be plenty.  These girls of yours are so so lucky.  They have loving, devoted parents who can afford to feed and educate them.  Everything else is gravy.  You can't ruin them.