One thing I half-learned in my first labor and fully learned from my second is that the birth is just a way to get the baby out. It's a giant mistake to focus too much on the birth experience and forget about the baby (babies) that you have to care for immediately after. If I had really been focused on my drug-free birth this time, I could have refused the pitocin and stayed up all night waiting for my labor to get going. And then I would be absolutely exhausted and caring for a newborn. I learned the first time how much that sucks. It actually affects the first few weeks of motherhood, and made me miserable instead of allowing me to enjoy my baby. My opinion now: get the baby out in the healthiest way for you and the baby, without disrupting your life unnecessarily, allowing you to be as present as possible for your new kids. Mothering is more important than birthing. A million times more important.
Right after I got the epidural this time, Mabel's heart rate dropped crazy fast and 5 doctors ran into the room. I didn't know I was 3 pushes away from meeting her, and I thought to myself, I'm probably about to have a c-section. And I felt totally peaceful and comfortable with it (only partly because of the drugs :) ). All i wanted was to meet her and keep her safe. I think worrying about the birth too much is ultimately making it all about you. Focusing on the kid is a much better introduction to motherhood.
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