Letter to Pre-Pregnant Friend:
Yay for last pill!!
You asked for pregnancy resources. Honestly, it's so easy to get bogged down in this stuff. And there's always somebody telling you not to do things "just in case" which of course makes you feel guilty every time you so much as fart. One of my favorite resources once I got pregnant was this website which tells you what's going on week by week and does it in a very laid-back and funny way. In the same vein is the Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy. Basically makes light of the whole thing and makes you feel better for being human, and lets you know what to expect. I know your personality (it's a whole lot like mine :) ) and I think it's important for you to read things that give you an excuse to laugh and not judge yourself too much. You will get TONS of information from the random google searches you can't help but do every time something new happens or you eat a type of cheese that you're not ENTIRELY sure is "hard".
One of the biggest pitfalls of pregnancy/motherhood is that it is one realm where perfect strangers feel totally justified in not only judging you, but telling you that you are doing a bad job to your face, without even knowing your name. It's insane and makes me want to punch people in the crotch. But it also has made me feel terrible about my mothering (pre- and post-partum) on countless occasions. If I could give you any gift, it would be immunity to that kind of judgment. But just know that by entering this realm, you are entering a place with WAY too much advice in it.
The most important thing to know is that you can trust your own instincts. Beginning during pregnancy. Eat what you feel like eating, because your body is amazingly communicative when you're pregnant. If you crave cheese, your baby needs cheese. If you want to eat 5 eggs a day, eat them because the baby is having a brain-building day and brains are made of cholesterol and protein. Listen to yourself. And this continues after the baby is born. Do what feels right to you. Don't get bogged down with what other people think is the right way to do things. You and R will be closer to that baby than anyone else in the world. You will know what to do with that kid better than anyone else. Don't forget that.
That said, I went totally straight-edge during my pregnancy. I didn't drink while we were trying and through the entire pregnancy, I eliminated all beauty products with salycilic acid in them (wreaked HAVOC on my complexion for 10 months), eliminated all products that contain parabens, used no medication of any kind, ate no soft cheeses, no sushi, no caffeine, etc. It was a lot of work. Now, knowing my personality, it was good for me because it gave me nothing to obsessively worry about. However, it is certainly not necessary to do that. I can tell you that next time around, I'll be drinking while we're trying (no more than 2-3 drinks at a time probably), I'll be using products with salycilic acid, I'll take benadryl if I get a cold, I'll eat whatever cheese I want, I'll drink caffeine, and probably a taste of alcohol every once in a while.
I actually found something online (which I now can't find) that showed when different parts of the baby develop (and can be hurt by substances taken by the mother) and nothing was actually vulnerable for the first 2-3 weeks of the pregnancy. Basically, during the time before you get a positive pregnancy test, the embryo is living off the egg, not off of you and what you consume. So until you get a positive pregnancy test, you probably can't hurt the baby.
That said, if you do a google search for almost anything in the world and the word pregnancy, you'll probably find someone who says not to use it while pregnant. Honestly, your best bet is always to ask your doctor and take her advice.
As for exercise, all the official things say not to let your heart rate go above some particular rate, and not to get hot. I stopped running when I got pregnant. My cousin took hot yoga classes and ran miles a day when she was pregnant and was fine. I think you just have to listen to your body. Exercise a little less strenuously than you used to, but if it feels good, keep doing it. Again, I'm a big fan of trusting your body and your instincts. It's actually a really wonderful thing to really listen to your body. I hadn't done it in so long and it was kind of a revelation.
This was a lot of stuff, but I think the take-home point is trust yourself, don't get too bogged down in what other people are saying, listen to your doctor, and have fun. Let yourself fantasize about the little cuddly creature you'll end up with, and the silly hilarious kid it will turn into.
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